Andre Joseph

– A peculiar representative of the male species who under normal circumstances, proper disposition and clear status of mind will act accordingly.

Having imbibed an unorthodox amount of alcohol which one is only capable of doing while hopped up on copious amounts of Schnee (please see definition) an Andre will begin to transform into a werewolf like creature capable of feats only super humans could achieve.

Please be aware that an intoxicated Andre is highly sensitive to movement and may attack. The only remedies are bright lights, police and a fake call to his mother, which will usually result in an instantaneous retardant effect followed by bouts of hunger.

Andres have a tendency to piss on things, pillows, doormats, toilet seats but never the actual toilet bowl. And Andre’s primary self-defense will begin by attempting to lick his attacker in a dog like fashion. If the attacker is not warded off an Andre will then resolve to smear feces on his opponent. Warning signs:

Any individual who can say “caca” 20 times in an hour is likely an Andre.
People of Mestizo origin are likely Andres. Having beautiful sisters is a pre-requisite for an Andre.

Anyone that attended Hialeah High but says they went to Miami Lakes High is an Andre. The Female version of an Andre is known as a Michelle.

Holy shit dawg, did you see that mofucka last night, he was such an Andre! I want to drink my ass off and turn into an Andre. I went out last night trying to pull ass like Rinaldo but got so fucked up I turned into an Andre.

Some articles also define ‘Andre’ as: British army officer hanged as a spy in the American Revolution for conspiring with Benedict Arnold.

The descriptions above are from other articles I’ve read and when I read it, It suits a bit on my personality. So I’d just grab it, and post it here which is kind of pretty okay I guess so 😉 haha.

Anyway, my parents  told me that my Name “Andre Joseph” was taken from their nicknames. My father’s nickname is ‘Tony‘ and his real name is ‘Antonio, from his name they took off the first syllable “An“. And my mother’s name is ‘Teodora‘ of which her nickname happens to be ‘Dory‘ and sounds like ‘Drey‘. So they combined their suggested sounds-like nicknames, they come up to a name ‘Andre‘.

The name ‘Joseph’ on the other hand was taken from the Patron Saint of the City where I was born. I was born at Tagbilaran City Bohol Philippines, and the Patron Saint of Tagbilaran City is “Saint Joseph the Worker”. Since we came from a Roman Catholic Family, my mom and dad decided to choose that name as my second name. So here it goes my name is ‘Andre Joseph’.  😉 (satisfied?)